Attempting a Graceful Explanation

Friends and Family:

I have news!! I have chosen to take part in a mission trip to Northern England with Operation Mobilization and will be gone from September through December 21.
You may ask: Wait...what? How did this come about? Why OM? Why England?

Well here is my attempt at a graceful explanation of the goings-on in my heart that led to this decision…

My life plans post-college have always been a blurry, vague, confusing vision...I don't feel called to apply my degree in the pursuit of a career in nutrition just yet, but that wouldn't necessarily automatically lead me here...however the Lord is always sure to guide, even when I don't realize it. Cue Matthew 28:19-20 and Psalm 27:4:

“Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” –Matt. 28:19-20

“One thing have I asked of the Lord that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple.” –Psalm 27:4

I have always known that this world is not my ultimate home…it is a constant feeling of longing in my heart for something beyond this that reminds me of this truth. I was made to be on earth to bring glory to the Lord until He chooses to take me home. However, it wasn’t until more recently that the Lord really stripped my life of the things that make me comfortable here on earth and instilled in my heart a desire to have a heart like David’s in Psalm 27:4…a heart that longs only to be in the presence of the Lord and marvel at His beauty! It was with this heart transformation that I knew I desired to pursue Kingdom-related matters…to become grounded in that first and foremost before falling prey to my tendency to find a definition for myself in careers, relationships, etc. Before I “settled down” I wanted the Lord to turn my world upside down and be challenged to share the truth and hope of the gospel with others, like I'm commanded to in Matthew 28:19-20.

So here comes the rabbit trail that led me to this specific trip: my amazing roommate bought me a Christmas gift this past year which is a book called Operation World - a comprehensive prayer guide to the entire world which leads readers in needs-specific prayer for the world over the course of a year. I had been considering a trip with a well-known organization called YWAM which many friends had participated in, but after several months in this book I noticed that whenever the book mentioned the work of YWAM it almost always also mentioned something called OM. One day while stranded in Murfreesboro at school, I wandered into the library (a sadly rare occurrence) and while researching YWAM trips I decided on a whim to look into this OM thing...

Talk about a moment of clarity! I came across a trip called Lifehope Autumn and knew immediately that I wanted to apply for it...after spending months agonizing over where/if I was supposed to apply for YWAM, it took me less than a week to complete my application for the OM trip, turn in my deposit, and have my references sent in from church leaders. I had complete peace about this choice, and knew it was where I was supposed to be.

As for England, my choice for traveling there is quite simple – I have had a desire to go there for years now. I hadn’t even been there before until this past March when I spent a brief day and a half in London, but for some reason I’ve always felt drawn there.

So here I am! Addressing support letters, researching flights, applying for a visa…it’s all quite surreal at this point, but before I know it it’ll be September 1st and I will be on a plane to meet my team and 4-month-long family, none of whom I know. I am ecstatic, apprehensive, overjoyed and scared all at the same time. I can’t wait to see what the Lord is going to do in and through me and how He is going to choose to grow, stretch & challenge me. I’ll be recording it all here on this blog for you, my wonderful friends and family, to read. Hopefully you can use it as a means to guide you in how to pray for me, because heaven knows I’ll need it!!

Thank you for taking the time to read this novel of a blog post, for loving me constantly through actions and words and for supporting me over the years.

It’s been quite some time since I visited this sweet little blog and graced its “pages” with my stunning photography and complex musings about life & other things…(insert sarcasm here).
Regardless of how much (or little) I have been missed, I thought I might as well regale the blog kingdom with tales of where/what I’ve been up to:

I’ve spent early mornings in thought and prayer here…

Enjoyed some of these and some even more delicious music with my sister…

(seeing Fleet Foxes at the Ryman)

Found a great deal of comfort in this…

(Psalm 94)

And, truth be told, I’ve been spending a lot of time with my boyfriend.
We take long walks together…
I feed him spoonfuls of delicious food…
We dance to James Vincent McMorrow in the living room…
And he smothers me with love and affection…

Oh! Sorry, did I forget to mention he’s 6 months old?
Insignificant details, people…

"I Want to Go to There!"

With the impending completion of my undergraduate degree in just 7 months, the adventures of this ginger are about to increase exponentially and transform from local/minor adventures of spontaneity and creativity to (hopefully) big-time travel!!

(credit)

I'll be the first to admit that I won't be sure of this until plans are set in stone and my hiney is on a plane - the Lord has been faithful to show me one thing throughout my entire life: His plans are different than mine! But in hopes that His plans and mine align for this next phase of my life, I have been stumbling upon (literally) some gorgeous pictures of this huge world we live in, which have only fueled my heart's desire for some serious upcoming adventures.



So what happens from here? I guess only time will tell! But I'm beyond excited about what the future may bring...

(credit)

Extinction & other reasons...

"...Herman slipped his hand into mine, and I thought, an average of seventy-four

species become extinct every day, which was one good reason but not the only

one to hold someone's hand," -Alma Singer, The History of Love

Reading is one of those things that I wish I did more often and find I do far too little. By some miracle (probably due to the fact that I read instead of doing school) I finished a book today. The History of Love by Nicole Krauss is absolutely beautiful. There are SO many good books out there that it's hard for me to tell you to stop what you're doing and go read this right now, but it definitely needs to be on your list...it is a beautifully told story and manages to somehow weave together the tales of three distinctly different characters whose lives manage to intertwine by the end. Just beautiful.

Now on to the next! Trying to decide between The Alchemist & By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept...

All that to say, go read a book...it feels good.

Growing pains...

Oh…my…goodness, growth is hard. I cannot even begin to express how many times in the past couple months I have found myself talking about the fact that when asking the Lord for teaching and growth, it will NOT be easy. In fact, it’s quite the opposite of easy.

But it’s so appropriate that in the very phase of your life in which you have reoccurring days where you feel you have come to the very end of yourself, you have this amazing joy to be found in the fact that you feel this way because the Lord is changing and growing you...

I am not stagnant! Praise God!

I spent a bit of time this summer feeling completely unmoved and unreached by the Lord…these “dry spells” are the absolute worst…I’ll pass, no thank you. But then of course when I ask Him to work in my life, I feel the growing pains and complain about that too! Will I ever stop my whining? Even though I feel as though I’m asking the Lord for strength every ten minutes, I am overwhelmingly grateful that I can feel the Lord moving me, teaching me, growing me. I absolutely refuse to go through the hard stuff and come out on the other end looking, feeling, acting the same. I refuse to be the same person. Working through the difficult things will not be in vain! I am so blessed to have a God who gives me enough strength for each day…it reminds me of the story of the Israelites wandering through the desert in Exodus…they whined for food and the Lord provided…but only enough for each day. This way they had to rely on Him each morning when they woke up to provide again. When they tried to hoard food, He literally rotted and melted it away! He gave them exactly what they needed for that time period and made sure they had to rely on Him in the same way the very next day. I have seen this in my own life – every morning the first thought in my mind has to be surrender and relying on Him for my strength for the day. And He always provides! Each day concludes with me lying down to rest with the last bit of strength He has given me, and then it starts afresh in the morning. He has certainly taught me the very essence of needing Him and relying on Him.


So today, I encourage you…
If you are feeling growing pains, embrace them! It hurts, yes, but the end result will be a stronger more mature child of God.
If you are feeling stagnant, pray for growth! My aforementioned words may not make you jump at the chance to feel pain or challenges, but nobody wants to stay in the same place forever.
If you are enjoying a time in the clear when you have seen the fruits of the Lord’s work in your life and are able to experience some peace, relish it! And keep pursuing Him…just don’t let yourself revert back to who you were before…let the growth produce a lasting change!


2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

ensemble of stallions

thursday.
these boys are coming to visit me!!


one of nashville's most wonderful traditions is "live on the green"...perfect way to celebrate the emerging chilly weather and enjoy some great music.

(did i mention it's FREE??!!)

this week our ears will get to enjoy the loveliness that is band of horses. thank you nashville!


he looks like such a hillbilly when he sings, but it's oh so endearing.

I need a...

...vacation.
Feel like I've been going nonstop for this entire month and I just want to go somewhere that's not here (Portland, anyone??) and be a bum and explore and eat good food and drink good coffee
and not work and not do school.
Is that too much to ask? Probably....dangit.

In other news, I have been enlisted to help with the dessert bar for the wedding of two of my closest friends in May (!!) so I've been going crazy looking at things like this...

This blogger does many other precious things. Like these feather cookies...
grand.
(also a bridesmaid!! - check out the fantastic dress we get to wear!)

It's my goal to learn to compartmentalize my life so I can still do
fun and spontaneous things without worrying about work and school.
Let's hope it can work!


Happy Sunday.


p.s. I have a surprise for next time...and its name is Higgins...